Rather than give you one of the more meaningful or informative quotations, I’ll just excerpt their most ridiculous tangent.

People who live in places where it gets really cold and dark and shitty at this time of year have always wanted to have a big fun party right in the middle of it, because otherwise everyone would kill themselves (you will note that the importance of Christmas in Christianity increased alongside Christian incursion into places where the weather sucked during that season), and you have to call it something. The Danes and Anglo-Saxons called it Yule. We could try to bring that name back, but what’s the point? We don’t believe in Odin either.

Besides, they also called January “Wolfmonth,” so if we’re going to bring anything back, it should totally be that. People would be like “Hey, what month were you born in, because if it’s some pussy month we’re going to fuck with you,” and if you were born in January you could be like “fucking WOLFMONTH,” and then they’d be all like “Ahhh! Let’s get out of here!”

Just for the record, I’ll be calling January “Wolfmonth.”

On a completely separate note, I named my new (used) accordion “Mohammed.” Eat that, polka-hating Muslims.